An HR Nightmare
by Aurora Sanders
Summary: After Mon-El announces his relationship with Kara to the DEO, he and Kara have to go through a seminar on proper relationship etiquette. This does not go over well with Mon-El.
1. Chapter 1

"I have news, everyone! Kara and I are dating!" Mon-El said at the DEO headquarters, spreading his arms wide and smiling.

Winn and Alex raised their eyebrows.

"You do know I'll have to report this to H.R., don't you?" J'onn asked Mon-El. "You'll have to sit through a mind-numbingly boring seminar about proper etiquette. And, Mon-El, your shouting match with Kara the other day was _not_ that."

Mon-El turned to Kara, looking for backup.

"I mean, it's kind of true," Kara muttered, already regretting having slept with Mon-El last night… especially considering how he had _just_ told everyone they were dating when she had specifically told him not to. They weren't even really official yet, but he had just made them that.

"You should consider yourselves lucky! On Daxam, we threw parties when people got together," Mon-El said, chuckling. "Boy, those were awesome."

"What, like, "Yay, the frat boy of the universe has another girlfriend he's going to objectify and then dump"?" Kara rolled her eyes, referring to the Prince of Daxam.

"He wasn't… that bad," Mon-El looked down at his shoes.

Alex shrugged. "Well, Kara, if that party isn't going to happen, there's an armed robbery a few blocks away. You up for helping out?"

"Yeah! Yeah, of course," Kara looked at the monitor, nodded, and then headed out.

* * *

When Kara came back to the DEO, Mon-El was standing around waiting for her. "Kara, H.R. wants to see us," he said.

"Oh, lovely," Kara sighed. She'd already dealt with enough villains today… she didn't need to see her not-quite-boyfriend's most likely pissed off reaction to being lectured on proper workplace etiquette.

"It can't be too bad," Mon-El said as they walked into the H.R. room.

"Yeah, as long as you don't make it too bad," Kara muttered under her breath.

"What?" Mon-El asked, not having as good hearing as Kara.

"Nothing," Kara said as they sat down.

A young woman with light brown skin and curly brown hair sat down across from them. Kara supposed she was the person who was going to be doing the seminar. She'd never met her before.

"Hi, guys," She laughed nervously. "My name's Natasha. Director Henshaw has told me that you're together now, and it's our organization's policy that any couple goes through this seminar. So here you go, if you have any questions I'll be here, right across from you."

Natasha slid two tablets across the table and Kara and Mon-El each took one.

Kara leaned forward to read the tablet. It all seemed pretty reasonable. Discussions of the specifics of their relationship (Kara knew what _that_ meant) were prohibited, as was inappropriate touching or kissing.

Mon-El looked up from his tablet and to Natasha. "What counts as inappropriate touching? Like, is this okay?" he asked, grabbing Kara's butt.

Kara yelped and slapped his hand away, and Natasha pursed her lips to keep from laughing. "Yeah, it looks like that's inappropriate both at that workplace and in general."

"I don't see the problem," Mon-El muttered and returned to his tablet.

Kara sighed and continued reading. Obviously, other kinds of interactions were forbidden… like the fight they'd had about Mxy the other day.

"Oh, and Director Henshaw asked me to bring this up specifically, if you guys are at the part about arguing or verbal abuse in the workplace?" Natasha hesitated, and Kara guessed she knew she was treading on thin ice. "The fight you guys had about the imp…"

"It was for show," Kara interrupted her. "Um, because we knew Mxy might be able to see what was going on, and I wanted him to think Mon-El and I really hated each other."

"Yeah. What she said," Mon-El pointed to Kara. "She didn't really think I was just some stupid Daxamite."

"I wasn't really talking about what Kara said," Natasha winced, "although that was not that great. Director Henshaw was more concerned with what you said, lecturing her about being high and mighty and everything."

"You know what," Mon-El stood up, pushing his chair back. "Director Henshaw can butt out of our relationship, because it isn't any of his business how I treat my mate!"

He stormed out of the room.

"I'll… go get him," Kara stood up, pointing to the door.

"Did you know he thought you were his mate?" Natasha asked.

Kara sighed. "Nope."


	2. Chapter 2

Kara followed Mon-El out into the hallway, where he was stewing.

He looked at her like he'd expected her to follow. "At least you're here! I can't believe the nerve of that woman."

"It wasn't really her choice, you know… she'd been given orders by her boss to discuss it with us," Kara shrugged.

"There was nothing wrong with what I said!" Mon-El said, raising his hand to point a finger at the door of the room they'd had the seminar in. "Nothing!"

"I mean, we really should have probably not had that argument at our work place…" Kara knew there would be no way to convince Mon-El that he'd said some things that were uncalled for. More and more reasons were mounting up for her to not want to be "official" with him… or even anything at all.

Mon-El rolled his eyes, not saying anything.

"And if you're trying to prove that you'll be better in the future, yelling at the person who's reprimanding you and storming out isn't the best way to do that…" Kara added.

Mon-El threw his hands down by his sides. "I still don't believe this! Things were easier on Daxam… where nobody could tell me what to do!"

Kara raised an eyebrow. "Not even the prince?"

He still didn't answer, and started walking away from her.

Kara sped after him, not willing to let that remark slide. "Mon-El of Daxam… if that's even your name… tell me what you meant by that. If you lied to me, I swear…"

He turned to her, cruelty in his eyes. "You'll what? Whine and be all uppity because it's your birthright as a Kryptonian?"

"Rao." Kara stepped back, looking away from him. "You really are…"

"The prince of Daxam?" Mon-El asked. "Yes, I am. I meant to tell you, but you were never going to accept me. Well, I am."

"Don't you dare turn this all around to be about me!" Kara yelled. "You don't get to do that after you owned slaves, rationalized it, and probably ended the lives of several of your people by hopping in that _Kryptonian_ pod and abandoning them!"

"Everything is about you, Kara Zor-El!" Mon-El let out a sharp laugh. "What does it matter if I take you down a few notches?"

Kara pushed past him, not willing to hear any of his nonsense. "Leave. You don't belong here at the DEO, and I'm going to tell J'onn about you. I never want to see you again."

"But Kara!" Mon-El reached out to grab her arm, and Kara shook it off. "I love you!"

"I don't think you've ever loved anyone," Kara shook her head and walked away.


	3. Epilogue

That weekend, Kara sat with her friends at the alien bar — and thankfully, Mon-El wasn't working tonight.

"I missed you, Kara," James said, after Kara recounted a story of a fight she'd had with an alien who wanted to steal some paintings from the National City art gallery.

"Missed me?" Kara asked. "James, I was right here!"

"Yeah, but for the past few months you haven't really been… yourself," James admitted. Winn and Alex nodded. "I didn't want to say anything because it looked like you were happy with Mon-El and I didn't want to ruin that, but… I'm glad you're back now."

"Happy with Mon-El?" Kara let out a sharp laugh. "As if. I don't know why I wasted so much time on him. I mean, I guess it was because he was the only other alien around my age who worked at the DEO, but…"

"That shouldn't be the reason you date someone," Alex put in. "If we can be sisters, you can be with a human. Or not be with anyone! There's no reason you _have_ to be in a relationship,"

"Yeah, that's true," Kara thought back to her earlier failings at romance with Cat's son and James. James… why had they not worked out, anyway? Well, because there had been so much chaos with her aunt and uncle. But if she could fit a dysfunctional relationship in her life, surely she could fit James Olsen in it too.

"Hey Kara, I'm grabbing something from the bar. Want anything? I'll pay," James called out.

"Yeah, sure! Just human alcohol, though," Kara called back.

She didn't need anything _else_ clouding her judgement.


End file.
